Learning styles

I will not begin this post with an apology.

I have been thinking subconsciously about the first four sutras over the past few weeks. That's not to say that I'm trying to make up for not thinking about them by writing something brilliant--which is often useful. Rather, I'm expressing an almost integrated living with them, if not in the spirit of them. It is indeed difficult for me to still the mind, whether through "controlling" it or uniting it with the heart, and I often fail at it. However, I am mindful of what is going on between those still moments, which are very few. I think this is the "path to recovery."

Of course, it is frustrating to see myself getting my wheelbarrow stuck in the same samskara over and over.

And over.

atha yoganusasanam.

I am going at this one from a different angle for the next week. I am going to refrain from watching television in order to wean myself off of it. Perhaps by denying myself this vice I can figure out the hole I am trying to fill with it.

::eyes computer:: You're next.

Jeanne's house is very conducive to this kind of activity because it is very simplistic. There is a bit of "stuff" here: lots of decorations, fancy sound equipment, and nice furniture, but it's all part of a routine. The things in my life are not serving my routines, or at least they are not helping me start them.

Well no, let me say that again. The things in my life are here because they are serving my routines perfectly. That is why I accumulate them and become so attached to them. So then I get stuck: I want to change my routine but the things around me make that difficult, and I want to reduce my attachment to the things around me but my routines are such that doing so would cause me to suffer in some way. So it's a toughie. I feel so scattered by these things that I am unable to focus. Hence my reasoning for turning the television off for a week.

And off my mind races: "But what about Seventh Heaven? And ER?" And I reassure my mind: "That's what they make DVR for." Whether I want to inflict my decision on Zack when I visit him tomorrow will remain to be seen.

For now, I am enjoying listening to this lovely music. And I shall sign off to read something about yoga in place of writing about it.