Working hard

I haven't worked very hard on my yoga practice today, but I definitely worked hard on my grad school application. I'm really not sure how to make myself do something I don't want to do without willfully doing it. I wish I felt like writing was art rather than tedium.

Do I really like tv better than this? Stephen Colbert makes me laugh but I know I really used to like to write... at some point. I just get so distracted!

How do I do this without forcing myself to do it? I need to want to do it. Why don't I want to do this? Because I don't want to use my brain... no, that's not it. I think that I have placed a stigma on writing that I don't want to have anymore. I can do this. Plus, I like the clickey sound that my keyboard makes.

My non-violence today is trying to figure out how I can do the things that I know I want to do without willfully doing them. I need to figure out why I want to do them.

How option-y. On that note, I think I should go to bed.