Two days, one stone.

We have arrived, safe and sound. Our trip was a perfect example of the transient nature of life. That sounds like the epitome of obvious, but it's more complicated than that. Our first day was absolute bliss. I felt whole, happy, and relaxed, and the day seemed to just unfold perfectly. We drove, and drove, and drove (for over 12 hours!), but I managed to consume two vegetarian meals instead of succumbing to the demon of convenience and scarfing down a hamburger My mind was focused on keeping my arm joints loose and my breathing deep. I sang a lot, employing the breathing technique that I used when I was hiking a few days ago. Singing from your hara rather than the chest really helps! I still wouldn't go as far to say that my singing voice is particularly pleasant to listen to, but I was able to hold my notes in the same way that I managed to make it up those last hills on our hike. It's really an issue of creating a line of stability from the chest to the abdomen and back again. When that part of the body is stable, the limbs can use that as a starting point to develop their own sense of stability and relaxation. After my mind had stayed in that positive place all day, I was totally ready for an awesome asana practice, which I had. The one shining moment from that practice that stands out in my mind was definitely Savasana. I am really getting better at moving deeper into the relaxation without verbal prompting. My reading for yesterday was a revision of my daily asanas and looking ahead to what I can expect next Monday and beyond from my course guide. So all in all, my day yesterday was a mentally and physically challenging and rewarding day.

Today was quite different from yesterday. I am not placing judgment on how or why the two days felt so different because I think it would be more helpful to simply lay out the events and contributing factors and let them speak for themselves. We woke up this morning and got a slow start because we couldn't decide on a place to get breakfast. We finally made a smart move and went to the grocery store for some basic, healthy staples that would tide us over until our sushi lunch with Nik in Portland. By the time we got to the grocery store though, I was already in a slightly bad mood and definitely tense with frustration. After breakfast, the other drivers on the road were not meeting my base standards for sharing the road with me, but unlike yesterday they were not at all accomodating for other drivers on the road. I fought with people driving unfairly pretty much all day, which also left tension and frustration. Whereas yesterday I was able to express my frustration with othe drivers without getting angry or spreading violence, today I was definitely not practicing ahimsa the way I should have been. That thought crossed my mind a few times as I was screaming at other people, but I was just so mad that I didn't feel at all in control of how I was expressing that anger. For now though, I'm not going to attack my road rage with a fine-tooth comb. All I want to do is calm it down a few notches so I don't feel like I am neglecting to practice ahimsa.

The break in Portland helped, but I broke my concentration on diet for cheap sushi. Looking at the big picture though, this road trip was much more successful than those past where vegetarianism is concerned. Again, that is not something I am going to beat myself up over. I am going to gradually phase out the last few influences that eating meat has on my life, and I am consciously working on that. The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful, but now that we're home all I am is tired and and, admittedly, a little frustrated that I didn't have such a good day today. I did manage to read something and practice my asanas though... in fact, I borred Light on Life from my mom for my daily readings for the next week or so. So far, it's awesome! My reading today was just the introduction and first chapter that essentially laid out the basics that I've been reviewing in Iyengar's other books and on the internet. I feel like something is finally starting to sink in! Tomorrow I'll start my reading about asana with the intention of deepening my own practice. Tonight my muscles were very stiff and my knee still hurts from where I think I hyperextended it doing triangle pose a few days in a row. I can see some improvement though! Some days are just better than others in that respect.

I have faith that this progress will continue.